


God, He Was Going To Be Insufferable

by NeedsCaffeineRightNow



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Actor-Comedian Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Comes Out, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Stanley Uris Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26642422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedsCaffeineRightNow/pseuds/NeedsCaffeineRightNow
Summary: Richie comes out earlier on his career because I want better things for him
Relationships: Ben Hanscom & Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Maggie Tozier & Richie Tozier & Wentworth Tozier, Mike Hanlon & Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier & Richie Tozier's Sister, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 2
Kudos: 125





	God, He Was Going To Be Insufferable

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is I'm sorry
> 
> CW: Mentions of Stan's suicide but he's not dead, and it's not graphic  
> Mention of the hate crime committed in the movie/book, once again nothing graphic  
> Way too many uses of the word fuck

It was 2003 and Richie had never been this nervous before, except for maybe when he was just getting started on the stand-up circuit, or perhaps when he had his first audition for major film, but this was a different kind of nervous. The kind that wormed its way into your chest and made itself a home there until you kicked out for overstaying its welcome. The problem with that metaphor is that Richie was never good at confrontations.

But he tried to ignore that, and the unwelcome guest, and tried to be brave. He knew he could be, maybe. So here he was, twenty-seven, semi famous, and sitting at his parents dining room table for Thanksgiving.

For what it was worth, Maggie and Went were as excited to see him as they always were. His sister was also happy he was there, and so were her kids. Richie hadn't seen them in a couple years, but Stacy was just as he remembered her, short and spunky. Her husband, Christopher, was also super nice, and Richie was left wondering why he didn't visit more often.

Though that question was answered for him the same moment that his unwelcome guest made its entrance.

The Tozier's had always done Thanksgiving lunch instead of dinner, since it meant if someone had to leave before dark they could, and so they could just eat left overs later in the day. It was during this very lunch that his mother, who he loved oh so much, opened her big mouth.

"So Rich, are there any girls we should know about?", she had asked it so innocently, obviously just trying to tease him, not knowing the damage it was doing to him currently.

"Uh, no, not really interested in dating right now", Richie told her, hoping she'd buy it, "Plus, what lady would want to date this?" He gestured to himself and his family chuckled so perhaps he could get away from it.

"Okay, but really, you haven't been seeing anyone?", Stacy asked him, turned away from him, wiping gravy off of his infant nephew's face.

Richie had in fact been seeing someone but he didn't know how to break it to his family that it was not a _she_. Of course by 'seeing' he meant that he had a very casual relationship with a guy in L.A., and it was never going to be serious.

"Maybe here and there but nothing newsworthy", Richie shrugged, purposefully leaving out any inappropriate jokes his brain shot at him, there were children in the room.

"Well, I'm sure you'll find the right girl eventually", His dad told him with a reassuring smile that made him want to barf.

"I don't think it's ever going to happen", Richie said before he could catch himself and all the adults raised and eyebrow at him. The three children were much too preoccupied throwing potatoes around to care about there uncle's love life.

"Why's that Richie?", His mother asked, a confused smile gracing her features. He looked at her and couldn't help but appreciate how gracefully she had aged, but that's probably what happened when your house was filled with laughter. Though no one was laughing right now.

"Yeah, your successful, and famous, and okay looking", Stacy said, trying to lighten the mood and it worked a little.

"I don't know", Richie shrugged, turning his face down towards his plate, and preparing himself to kick out the nerves in his chest, "Probably because I'm not interested in finding _the right girl_ " And just like that the nervousness was gone but a whole different type of panic shoved its way through the door. Especially since everyone else at the table went quiet. Even the kids seemed to know something was going on and stopped playing for a minute.

"What do you mean?", His mother asked and he felt like he wanted to cry then and there because apparently he was going to have to spell it out and he didn't want to.

"Oh, you know, Mom, just that I'm gay, that's what it means", He hadn't meant to be rude, but he knew it came off that way, he almost apologized until is Dad spoke up.

"That's fine, Richie", He told him, " And I'm sure you'll meet the right guy someday"

It wasn't until he finished speaking that Richie felt himself begin to relax. There were no more unwelcome visitors, only him and the people he loved, and they loved him too, which was nice.

* * *

In 2007, Richie finally had enough of pretending to be something he wasn't. He didn't care if this fucked his career so hard that he'd never walk away from it, he was done.

It happened in the middle of one of his shows. He was doing a bit about an ex-girlfriend he never had, because this is what people expected from him. Extreme straightness with a side of disrespecting women in the grossest way possible. He wasn't sure why, none of his movies were like that! Hell, Richie played more gay men than he had slept with, not that number was very high because he was a fucking coward.

Richie didn't even remember writing the bit he was doing, which meant he had gotten very high or drunk to write, which he knew was unhealthy, but so was lying about yourself every night.

"And then- actually, you know what? Fuck this", Richie said, and there were confused murmurs from the audience, "Fuck it! Oh God! I can't do it anymore! This is horrible! I am a horrible, disgusting person, and so are all of you for thinking these jokes are funny! They're fucking trash is what they are!"

He was pacing the stage now, mic in hand, all eyes on him, every single one filled with confusion.

"I am fucking trash!", He yelled into the mic, and despite the irony of this, and his nickname being Trashmouth, everyone knew he didn't mean it like that, "Let me tell you all the truth right now, I have never, and I mean never, slept with a woman! I have never wanted to!"

The crowd was getting a bit louder now, more confused, and maybe a little angry, Richie held up a hand to shush them. And once they were quiet he continued.

"Because the truth is I am gay!", he said, and it felt nice to say, even with the awkward tension building in the room, "I always have been and I am so tired of pretending I'm not! You can either accept that or never come to one of my shows again I don't fucking care!"

There were a few things yelled at him, he was sure more than a one person called him a slur, but Richie was on a roll.

"And before you fuckwads all come up here to hate crime me, I want to say one last thing and you better all listen!", This got them to be silent for a moment, "I know more than one of you are recording, I know you're going to sell this story, so when you do, include this part: I am so sorry to all the women I have ever hurt with my shitty, shitty jokes. They weren't funny and I hope your man treats you better than I've pretended to"

Richie dropped the mic, took a bow as several people booed him, and he left the stage. One half of him fearing for his life the second he stepped outside, the other walking on air.

* * *

The year was 2016 and Richie's career was in full swing. After the whole thing back in 2007 he had to start over with the stand-up but the rest of his career stayed the same. But now he had a whole new fan base, and was just about one thousand percent happier. Of course he was still dirty, the title of Trashmouth never leaving, just taking on a different identity.

He had done several movies, had a special on Netflix, and was currently writing his own show, though he wasn't sure if he'd actually get through that. Life was looking up for Richie Tozier.

Until he got a call from Mike Hanlon, all of his childhood trauma coming at him like a tidal wave of misery, teenage angst, and death, puking over the side of a railing outside the venue, and then freezing up on stage.

And it really didn't help while on the way to the airport he googled Derry and the first article was about a gay man being murdered in front of his boyfriend a few days ago. Which meant it was the same Derry he had left all those years ago and that he really didn't want to go back to.

-

Richie was happy he had come back the second he saw the other Losers. All of them hugged him and they sat down to eat. And even if Stan was a little late, it didn't mean that the night would be all that bad.

And it wasn't! It was a ton of fun seeing them all again. Especially since three of them were in similar circles and still somehow missed each other, which was a lot of fun to try and figure out.

Although he did feel a little bad when he saw Eddie's wedding ring and asked him he had actually gotten married to a woman. It wasn't meant as an insult, Richie was too deep into gay comedy to come out of it now, and he didn't necessarily want to.

"And why aren't you married, Richie? No one sweep you off your feet yet?", Bev asked and Richie stuck his tongue out at her like he was five.

"For your information I get marriage proposals all the time," He told her, "They're just usually all from dudes on Twitter so I can't tell if they're serious or not"

"They're not", Stan told him, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder. Richie reached up to grab his hand and looked at him.

"Oh, Staniel, if Patricia hadn't snatched you up I would", He told him.

"I know, Rich, but I do really love my wife", Stan said, "But if that ever changes, which it won't, you'll be the first to know"

"Awesome", Richie said, very much like a dude bro and turned back to the others who were kinda staring at him funny. "What? You guys knew I was gay right? Or did y'all not get the joke?"

"No, we got it, we just didn't think it was Stan you had a crush on", Bev told him and Richie blushed, avoiding looking at Eddie as much as possible.

"That is so not fucking fair with the stupid love triangle you three had as kids", He gestured to Bill, Ben, and Bev, with the hand that was still holding Stan's.

"Oh if we're talking about our messed up dating as teenagers we have to talk about when Bill threw up on his prom date", Eddie said and just like that the conversation had moved on, but Richie couldn't help but glance up at Eddie every once in a while.

-

Pennywise seemed upset that Richie wasn't as easy to taunt, no longer caring if his 'dirty little secret' got out, since it had been for nine years, or more depending on if you were talking about his family. In fact, the clown seemed to sulk as it walked away from him, looking dejected. And had he been taller than It the whole time? Or did It get smaller?

Richie pondered all of these things as he flipped the arcade coin, walking back into the townhouse. He figured he should tell Mike about it.

And he did, he told him and the others over lunch, and Eddie shared a similar story, and they seemed to pick up on one thing.

They could make It small.

Richie argued that that was what they should focus on instead of the ritual, but Mike was insistent that it only be a back up plan so he gave up.

After lunch everyone had gone to their separate rooms to rest or call loved ones. Mike went back to the library. It was only a few hours later that Richie would be there too, driving a tomahawk into Henry Bowers' skull. He threw up for the second time that week shortly afterwards.

-

Richie knew they should have gone with the making It small thing! He knew it was better than the weird ritual thing! But he didn't tell Mike 'I told you so' because right now he was just relieved that they all made it out alive and that It didn't.

As he jumped into the quarry he hoped that along with blood, piss, and shit, the water also erased some of the things he saw in the deadlights. None of it was good. It was like he was watching alternative timelines, each one of them dying in a different way. Richie didn't want to see any of his, very much alive, friends die again, so even as he was submerged under the murky water, his eyes were open.

He played along with them pretending like he hadn't seen anything too bad, it was better for everyone right now. But he couldn't help but just stare at Eddie and Stan, something about the way they died bothered him. It might have been that for each of them it was the same scenario. Stan offed himself, and Eddie died when It stabbed a claw through his chest. All of the other Losers had multiple deaths, but not Stan and Eddie.

Needless to say he gave them both very big hugs the second they were outside of Neibolt.

-

Richie took his chance at three a.m. in the morning, not being able to sleep with everything going on in his brain. And luckily for him, Eddie couldn't either.

He had knocked on the door and been let in within thirty seconds of each other, whcih had been surprising, but now Richie was sitting at the foot of Eddie's bed, looking at him. And Eddie was looking right back.

Richie decided he might as well get this over with.

"I'm really sorry for doing this at three a.m., but I needed to tell you that I have a huge crush on you, I have since we were thirteen. Actually I think I'm in love with you, but you totally don't have to reciprocate those feelings because you're married and-"

"I'm getting a divorce", Eddie interupted him.

"What?", Richie asked, surprised.

"I'm getting a divorce", Eddie repeated, "Because I realized a couple things since coming back here"

"And those are?", he asked, trying not to sound to hopeful.

"That I married my mother", He spoke slowly, waiting for the joke that wasn't coming, not right now, "And that even after twenty-seven years I haven't been able to shake the way I feel about you"

"And how do you feel about me, Eds?", Richie asked, and he knew how he sounded, like a kid who knew he was getting the Christmas present he asked for.

"I'm in love with you, asshole", Eddie said, throwing a pillow at him, "And don't call me that"

"Oh but now I know you love it because you love me!", Richie said smiling, and he couldn't help but feel a little giddy. He didn't even know you could feel giddy at 40.

"Whatever", Eddie muttered, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling, just ever so slightly.

Richie laughed and moved closer to him. "Can I kiss you now or do I have to wait until after your divorce?"

Eddie shrugged, "I'm not going to tell anybody"

That was a good enough answer for Richie because he leaned in and finally did what he had been dreaming about for years.

* * *

2018 was looking to being a promising year for Richie. He had another special up, all of his friends back, a couple more neices and nephews, his show that he wrote was being renewed for its second season, and the best part was that he was about to get married.

There was a part of him that was screaming, telling him it was all some sort of fever dream, but Richie didn't like himself enough to give him this happy of an ending. In a few minutes he was going to walk into that ceremony, and marry Eddie Kaspbrak, who wouldn't be a Kaspbrak for much longer.

But currently he was in his room at the hotel they had rented out for the wedding, with Stan, Bev, and Mike. Mike and Stan were getting dressed as well, Bev had come in there already dressed in a short green bridesmaid dress she had designed herself. Mike and Stan were just wearing normal tuxes but Richie's also happened to be a Beverly March original.

The jacket was white with silk lapels of a similar color, the trousers were black and also not that special, the cummerbund was made out of an old green and yellow Hawaiian shirt Richie owned, the buttons had that same fabric covering them,the inside of the jacket was lined with the material, and his bowtie was also made from it. On the front of his tux he wore a large boutonniere made up of flowers that were the same colors as his other accessories. It was perfect, and very on brand.

He knew the others were talking to him as he admired himself in the mirror but this was his wedding day so if he wanted to be a little rude, he would be.

It wasn't long before it was time to go downstairs and see Eddie before the ceremony. And when he did he almost cried. That's not true, he *did cry, a lot.

Eddie just looked so perfect and he couldn't believe he was getting to marry him. This was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Eddie's tux was nearly identical to his own, except for Bev had used a different shirt with a similar print but where the colors were reveresed. That and Eddie had a waistcoat on and Richie just about died when he saw it.

They were eventually pulled apart so that they could get the ceremony underway, but Richie was okay with that, because he was so fucking ready to get married.

-

When it came to vows it seemed that he and Eddie were having a silent competition to get the other to cry the most. Of course they both cried plenty and it was considered a draw in the end.

And after they stopped crying they cried even more as they exchanged rings, and it didn't help that Eddie called him a crybaby under his breath which made him laugh louder than he should have. Finally they shared their first kiss as husbands (Husbands!!) and left the ceremony to get ready for the reception.

And Richie was more than excited to hear their names get called and finally be able to call Eddie his husband. At the reception and after it. He was going to say 'My Husband' as much as humanly possible because he needed everyone to know. He may have come out years ago, but anyone who didn't know he was gay, was about to, because Richie was going to tell anyone who would listen how much he loved his _husband_.

God, he was going to be insufferable.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr @needscaffeine
> 
> I might write their vows out later I don't know


End file.
